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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Cale's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 28th, 2003
7:05 pm


Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
8:12 pm
i want to start writing again, but no one would read it and i don't have the time. nor do i feel like ranting and complaining.
Sunday, October 26th, 2003
1:36 pm
hard time deciding...

damien rice - O - $14, good different stuff... or

bjork - greatest hits - $18, good stuff that sounds all the same.......

hmmmmmmmmmmmm... i'll pick damien rice... everyone go buy O, the damien rice cd
Thursday, October 9th, 2003
10:16 pm
i should start writing in here again

*you made your mind up for me when you started to ignore me*
Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
9:32 pm
i hate my life. i have no one to live for. i hate living here. i hate being gay here. i hate every single person associated with my family. i that i have no one to share my life and dreams with. i hate it here so badly. life sucks lemons.
9:07 pm
right... so... i think i decided to start righting in here again. i don't know... life's hard sometimes.

Current Mood: apathetic
Monday, August 4th, 2003
1:11 pm
i lied. i love you, bobby
Tuesday, July 29th, 2003
11:29 am
this will be my last post. true love will never ever come to me. accepted it. there is no use in trying. i don't ever feel like talking again. goodbye.
Sunday, July 27th, 2003
11:51 am
woke up early today... couldn't go back to sleep. kept thinking about all that i regret from last night. it's happened twice before. meet someone real, know they're gay, but i don't do anything about it. i HATE that. and he was so fucking unbelievably cute, you have no idea. so FUCKING cute

Current Mood: regretful
1:14 am
downsides of the event, even though it was the best fucking night of my FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!

i forgot to give jassen the necklace i was wearin :(

bobby didn't show up

i forgot to ask steve, jack, n matt to sign my wife-beater :P lol

GOOD-FUCKING-NIGHT!!!!
1:01 am
best fucking night of my life ever. my ears are still fucking ringing, but i think i'm deaf in my right ear. and i can BARELY talk after all that fucking sreaming. okay, here it goes. i got there, bought my ticket, got in line behind this REALLY REALLY cute guy. i'm 90% sure that he graduated from my skool (i realized this later cuz he looked really really really familiar). anyway, it was really funny. cuz i was kinda staring at him, but looking past him in that general direction too. he was staring back lol. okay!! then we got in, since i kinda got there before everyone else, i was in the front, and he came up by my side with his friend, and the guy to my other side was drunk, so he introduced himself to me, and then cute guy, aka adam introduced himself to me, then small talk. blah. the boy behind us was soooooooooooo fucking hot and cute omg... and i swear he's gay lol. he has his eyebrow pierced where i want mine!! i was jealous like none other. anyway, strata got on, never heard them before. but they were really good, i was really feelin there stuff. then, DIE TRYING FUCKING ROCKED THE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT OUTTA THAT MOTHER!!!!!! OMFGEEZ!! FUCK YEAH!!! moshed like a fucking lunatic. then AAF took the stage, rocked the mother fuckin house down. it was so fuckin crazy, man. people pourin water all over you, people crowdsurfin on top of you, FUCKIN CRAZY!! i almost got the pick from the bassist of strata. it bounced off me, and went past the railing. adam offered to get it for me, but i was like nah... then as i was leaving, i bought a DT t-shirt, and DT was up in the entrance of the club, saying bye to everyone!!!!!!!!!!! JASSEN JENSEN SIGNED MY FUCKING WIFE-BEATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK NOW, BITCH?!?!?!?!?!? and then this random dude came up to jassen and was like "are you in one of the bands?" and i was like "that's fucking jassen jensen!!" and jassen looked at me like "FUCK yeah, man, he knows who i am" and he gave me five!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING TOUCHED JASSEN FUCKING JENSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOODNIGHT.
Saturday, July 26th, 2003
10:47 am
bobby
garbagecale (10:16:49 PM): i'm soooo tired
bobby (10:16:53 PM): awww
garbagecale (10:16:54 PM): :(
garbagecale (10:17:11 PM): stupid bitch outside this morning..... messing up my 11 hours of sleep
garbagecale (10:17:16 PM): fuckhead....
bobby (10:17:26 PM): lol 11 hours
garbagecale (10:18:00 PM): yeh
garbagecale (10:18:03 PM): yawwwn
bobby (10:18:08 PM): *cuddle*
garbagecale (10:19:24 PM): i wanna cuddle for real
bobby (10:19:30 PM): yeh me too
garbagecale (10:20:33 PM): i get depressed at night time lately
bobby (10:20:41 PM): awww
garbagecale (10:20:41 PM): n you don't wanna see me in winter
garbagecale (10:20:59 PM): reaaaaaaaal bad in winter
bobby (10:21:28 PM): i'll come sneak in and cuddle u and keep u warm in winter

:) :) i hope bobby can hang out with me tonight
Friday, July 25th, 2003
9:52 pm
i'm gonna go for a walk, a smoke, and a think. .... bobby :(
9:43 pm
i don't know anymore. chris? bobby? stas? even though stas makes me feel like shit on occasion, unintentionally. it's fucked up. i think i'm leaning more towards bobby, though he makes me feel like shit sometimes too. bobby is joey's ex :(.

i been thinkin bout u, my love
and all the crazy things u put me thru
well i'm comin around, throwin it back to u
r u thinkin of me when u kissed him?
could u taste me when u licked his skin?
and all the while, i showered u with trust and promises
what i need now is sweet revenge to get back all that i lost ....... i'm too lazy to write the rest, u know how it goes. if you don't, too bad.
12:10 am
chris was feeling really sad earlier tonight. or since it's 12:10, i'll say yesterday night, so i made him a picture to cheer him up.



Current Mood: loved
Thursday, July 24th, 2003
7:53 pm
i'm turning into something. i don't like talking anymore. even writing this is bugging me. i think today... i've said about 15 words total. closing myself off again. wonder how long it'll last.
1:43 am
would it make you mad if everything you've ever wanted, everywhere you've ever wanted go in the world, where you want to live, the job you've always wanted, making tons of money and have an INDEPENDANT life with no one telling you what to do...... if someone infinately hotter than you, just a FEW years older than you had that all? check out cameronfrost.com to see what i'm talking about. he's gay, too..
1:40 am
i will not stop until i am free.

Current Mood: indescribable
12:27 am
would anyone really truly 100% unfakely, absolutely miss me if i were gone?
12:23 am
I'm gay.
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness, inside you
Makes you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up
Cuz you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

So sad eyes
Discouraged now
Realize

When this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up
Cuz you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors, true colors

Cuz there's a shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Beautiful, like a rainbow


i hate that people hate types of people. like if goths hate preps. like if preps hate punks. like all that stuff. fuck you for that. i hate that. it sickens me so much.
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